J Crowley (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} etjabberwock) wrote,@ 2009-02-09 13:28:00 |
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That 25 things thingy
Rules: Place your left hand below the piston indicated in Figure C. Connect the battery pack plug to the connector inside the case and insert the battery pack. Do not exceed 30mg every 24 hours without consulting a physician. Cook for thirty minutes, or until surface begins to darken. Let chill, and serve over ice or fresh garden vegetables. Rinse. Repeat.
1. I apparently naturally tend to smell like bread and vanilla, and sometimes, strangely, caramel. You probably think this is generally a positive thing compared to the way most other people smell, but you've probably also never woken up blanketed in ants and bears.
2. Dogs suffer from colorblindness except for when they look at me. Then, not only can they see in color, but they can see exactly how they will die.
3. I'm the only known object in the universe impermeable by neutrinos.
4. Almost every time I close my eyes, after a moment or two I begin to see vivid, rapidly-changing, totally random images. (Like Jake Gyllenhaal morphing into a woman with a bird's head, or a monkey made of only the rounded head cylinder parts from Legos, or Robin (from Batman) giving the Hitler salute. I'm dead serious.)
5. Though I have really lofty aspirations, I'm extremely cynical, and don't genuinely believe I'll ever actually accomplish any of the things I'd like to.
6. I used to have OCD as a child/teen, wherein I would have to tap things a certain number of times (1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 1), touch anything that I touched a second time in order to "un-touch" it, and various other goofy things. I still wrestle with it a little, at times, but I worked it against itself by developing a compulsion to NOT perform repetitive behaviors.
7. I am convinced I'm one of the least attractive people in the world, at least physically.
8. If I kiss a bullet before it is fired, it can never be stopped.
9. Over the last couple years, I've grown to feel nearly completely disconnected from the rest of humanity, as though I'm in some sort of game or simulation or something. Even when directly interacting with other people and having a good time, I almost feel like I'm not really there, and that I have little connection to the emotions any of them are feeling, as though I'm watching all of it as an observer. I'm happy for them, in kind of a weird, detached way, but can't really feel happy myself. Even when I'm included in group activities, I still feel like I'm somehow an outsider, like the third or fifth or eighteenth or nth wheel. I probably have depersonalization disorder.
10. Monsters have their parents check under the bed at night for me.
11. I possess a memory so powerful that I can vividly recollect your childhood. I prefer, however, not to.
12. I feel like I have a deep well of motivation inside me, but no rope from which to hang a bucket. I suspect this will change when I sell my first piece of writing. If that ever happens. Which it won't. (See #5.)
13. Giraffes can speak English, but only if I let them.
14. If I concentrate hard enough and squeeze just the right way, I can get orange juice out of any fruit, and most vegetables.
15. I don't think I've ever actually been happy. I've been substantially less depressed, but never truly happy. I think this is in part because I can never stop dreading the inevitable ends of pleasant or positive things, and feel like if I get too drawn into them or moved by them, said ends will only be that much more painful. That plus whatever the hell's going on in #9.
16. It's taking me substantially longer to throw this thing together than I expected it would.
17. I know exactly every way there is to skin a cat.
18. I am Keyser Söze.
19. If I get close enough to a hive, bees will disobey their queen and instead follow my instructions.
20. I often feel like people give me too much credit for things I feel I'm mediocre at, and not enough credit for things I feel are my strongest abilities or talents.
21. The only real cure to a mummy's curse is to drink my tears. And I never cry.
22. I'm completely invincible except when in the presence of a virgin, which is why I rape everything that moves. I also avoid unrefined olive oil, just to be safe.
23. I think I manage to be relatively easy-going and open, despite my myriad insecurities and neuroses.
24. I wrote a novel at the beginning of 2008, and if you haven't read it yet, I can e-mail a copy to you. If you already have a copy but haven't yet read it, please do. Of course, it will probably never get published, and I will die unknown and unloved. (See #5.) Still, I'm writing a second novel, which is also bound inevitably for failure.
25. I have difficulty endin
Rules: Place your left hand below the piston indicated in Figure C. Connect the battery pack plug to the connector inside the case and insert the battery pack. Do not exceed 30mg every 24 hours without consulting a physician. Cook for thirty minutes, or until surface begins to darken. Let chill, and serve over ice or fresh garden vegetables. Rinse. Repeat.
1. I apparently naturally tend to smell like bread and vanilla, and sometimes, strangely, caramel. You probably think this is generally a positive thing compared to the way most other people smell, but you've probably also never woken up blanketed in ants and bears.
2. Dogs suffer from colorblindness except for when they look at me. Then, not only can they see in color, but they can see exactly how they will die.
3. I'm the only known object in the universe impermeable by neutrinos.
4. Almost every time I close my eyes, after a moment or two I begin to see vivid, rapidly-changing, totally random images. (Like Jake Gyllenhaal morphing into a woman with a bird's head, or a monkey made of only the rounded head cylinder parts from Legos, or Robin (from Batman) giving the Hitler salute. I'm dead serious.)
5. Though I have really lofty aspirations, I'm extremely cynical, and don't genuinely believe I'll ever actually accomplish any of the things I'd like to.
6. I used to have OCD as a child/teen, wherein I would have to tap things a certain number of times (1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 1), touch anything that I touched a second time in order to "un-touch" it, and various other goofy things. I still wrestle with it a little, at times, but I worked it against itself by developing a compulsion to NOT perform repetitive behaviors.
7. I am convinced I'm one of the least attractive people in the world, at least physically.
8. If I kiss a bullet before it is fired, it can never be stopped.
9. Over the last couple years, I've grown to feel nearly completely disconnected from the rest of humanity, as though I'm in some sort of game or simulation or something. Even when directly interacting with other people and having a good time, I almost feel like I'm not really there, and that I have little connection to the emotions any of them are feeling, as though I'm watching all of it as an observer. I'm happy for them, in kind of a weird, detached way, but can't really feel happy myself. Even when I'm included in group activities, I still feel like I'm somehow an outsider, like the third or fifth or eighteenth or nth wheel. I probably have depersonalization disorder.
10. Monsters have their parents check under the bed at night for me.
11. I possess a memory so powerful that I can vividly recollect your childhood. I prefer, however, not to.
12. I feel like I have a deep well of motivation inside me, but no rope from which to hang a bucket. I suspect this will change when I sell my first piece of writing. If that ever happens. Which it won't. (See #5.)
13. Giraffes can speak English, but only if I let them.
14. If I concentrate hard enough and squeeze just the right way, I can get orange juice out of any fruit, and most vegetables.
15. I don't think I've ever actually been happy. I've been substantially less depressed, but never truly happy. I think this is in part because I can never stop dreading the inevitable ends of pleasant or positive things, and feel like if I get too drawn into them or moved by them, said ends will only be that much more painful. That plus whatever the hell's going on in #9.
16. It's taking me substantially longer to throw this thing together than I expected it would.
17. I know exactly every way there is to skin a cat.
18. I am Keyser Söze.
19. If I get close enough to a hive, bees will disobey their queen and instead follow my instructions.
20. I often feel like people give me too much credit for things I feel I'm mediocre at, and not enough credit for things I feel are my strongest abilities or talents.
21. The only real cure to a mummy's curse is to drink my tears. And I never cry.
22. I'm completely invincible except when in the presence of a virgin, which is why I rape everything that moves. I also avoid unrefined olive oil, just to be safe.
23. I think I manage to be relatively easy-going and open, despite my myriad insecurities and neuroses.
24. I wrote a novel at the beginning of 2008, and if you haven't read it yet, I can e-mail a copy to you. If you already have a copy but haven't yet read it, please do. Of course, it will probably never get published, and I will die unknown and unloved. (See #5.) Still, I'm writing a second novel, which is also bound inevitably for failure.
25. I have difficulty endin
